Are Self-Deprecating Jokes Only ~Self~ Deprecating?

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 From Aasif Mandvi, we learned the importance of self-deprecating humor in storytelling, but such humor has always been detrimental to my mental health. There have been stages in my life where I avoided mirrors, ashamed and frightened of what I would see. During these times, the “look in the mirror - oh wait you can’t, it shattered” types of jokes were popular and I was making them about myself, as it was a "fun" thing to do. The thing is, I, along with many others, was never lying when making such jokes about myself.



Self-deprecating humor has become a sort of reflex - to this day, I still believe most of the jokes I make about myself. I always have a hard time receiving compliments and feeling proud of my achievements. Such “skills” are essential to one’s well-being. I have trouble drawing the line with self-deprecating jokes. I always thought that it is okay for me to make these kinds of jokes about myself because I am not attacking anyone else, but I took a moment to broaden my perspective and realized that making such jokes hurts others as well.



When I make a hurtful or dark joke about myself, it shows people I am talking to that it is okay to bring yourself down for the sake of keeping a conversation alive, making others laugh, or just in general. If I make fun of my trauma, appearance, etc., it gives off the impression that it’s normal to do so and that they should too. It is not and should not be. Also, if someone has a trait in common with me and I make fun of myself for it, I am indirectly making fun of (more like hurting) them too. Cliché as it sounds, you need to treat yourself how you would want to be treated by others. You wouldn’t want someone making fun of your weight, appearance, trauma, past, etc., so why are you treating yourself this badly?

For the sake of oneself and others, there should be a fine line between casually joking about yourself and genuinely hurting yourself with those jokes. I’m not at all saying it is selfish to make self-deprecating jokes - I’m saying that such jokes harm others as much as it harms you. Everybody should be kinder to themselves as well as others.

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